The Magnificent Miss F.

Illustration

Claudette

Step right up! Feast your eyes on this handsome beauty! A kiss on the cheek from whichever side you fancy for only 5 cents! 10 cents gets you a kiss from both!

His Lovely Assistant

Come! Say a prayer for this daring beauty! Our knife throwers daggers are razor sharp, so we hope his aim is true! Step right up! Who wants a bear? See for yourself how sharp these daggers are! What a brave beauty!

Priscilla and Peach

Come one! Come all! Witness these hypnotizing beauties! Is she one girl or two? Stare deep into her spinning wand and let her make up your mind for you!

Max and Jax

A story of siamese twin teddy bears, who covet their independence so passionately that neither might survive... Read their story here: http://magnificentf.wix.com/maxandjax

Memento Mori

The Moon

The Salesman

Voodoo Doll

Goth

The Prototype

Ouija

The Nightmare Muncher

Zylphia

Zylphia had misplaced her pet, she paced about, she cursed and fret. She found the door'd been left ajar but couldn't dream that he'd go far. She looked around with great suspense, while all admired her fashion sense.

Violet and Vivian

Violet and Vivian, two sisters share one trunk. When one drinks wine the other finds that she has gotten drunk. One likes dogs, the other cats, they share most things but never hats. They find that they have twice the fun, two heads are better than just one.

Vertiline

Vertiline, oh Vertiline, She met her end on Valentines. She stepped into the lions cage and tamed them there upon the stage. The lions all behaved so well, was to the tiger that she fell.

Eudora

Eudora, much to her dismay, perished deep beneath the waves. And to this day she haunts the seas, but her story's not sad you see, for in her watery grave her bones did fall in love with Davy Jones.

Flora

Flora hates to sit up straight, to be proper is frightening. But she can't move a hair since the day she was dared to get herself struck by lightning. She cannot help but look morose, for now her body's comatose. But now she has a good excuse for being lazy and obtuse.

Mary Ann Cotton

Mary Ann Cotton whose core was quite rotten had herself husbands galore. By the time she was hung for what she had done, she had gotten rid of four, put sixteen children in their graves, and killed her mother, and a maid. Perhaps she suffered too much stress from a foul case of PMS.

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Painting

Oliver A. Hummingbird

Is quite fond of his hat. He is quite sure it is the tallest hat any hummingbird ever had. Sold, prints available

Lysander A. Albatros

Is of a devious nature, and is often found to be up to no good. Sold, prints available

Mercy A. Bluebird

Devoted her life to those stricken with avian influenza. Often sheds tears at the thought of salt spoons who've become lost through cracks in the floorboards. Sold, prints available

Margory A. Quail

Dashes in front of cars sending them careening off into ditches, whereupon their drivers inquire at a local truck stop, and find that she was killed in an auto accident ten years ago this very night! Sold, prints available

Winthrop A. Owl

Enjoys long strolls in the dead of night, and peering at people suspiciously through his monocle. He also finds fancy trousers much to his liking. Sold, prints available

Thaddeus A. Peacock

Takes great delight in his finery, yet cannot dress himself as he is deterred by his deathly fear of buttons. Sold, prints available

Iphignea A. Magpie

Is suspected of poisoning eight husbands, and has an affection for moths of the tasty variety. Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Fingers A. Pelican and Jimmy The Fish

Are suspected of foul play, but you won't mention it if you value your kneecaps. Sold, prints available

Lenore A. Raven

Finds pathological entertainment in plucking at shiny objects. Often found attacking door knockers just after they have been polished, and disturbing their inhabitants. Sold, prints available

Chauncey A. Rockdove

Has an inclination toward bowties, and tends to favor the taste of pocket watches. Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Aloysius A. Flamingo

Claims to have come from Paris. Enjoys strolling in the park and eating ice cream, and can not be found doing much else. Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Byron A. Hornedowl

Is taken to lurking about and giving ominous stares. It is rumored that he will devour an unattended fledgling, though evidence of this is yet to be found. Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Je Suis Content

Sold

The King Of Hearts

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

I Feel Like A Sunset

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Love Feels Like

Sold

Ooze

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Lurk

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

My Friends Cat

Life On Mars

Sold

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Sculpture

Mirth

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Grief

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Wonder

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Iphignea

Be wary dear ones, when you go to tea at Iphignea's, rumor has it she keeps arsenic in the sugar bowl... Available

The Princess And The Pea

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Patchwork Knock-Down Circus Owl

Step right up! Step right up! Let's see that right arm son! Throw a ball and win the lady a prize! Sold

The Rubbish Service

I woke up with a start at the clatter and crashing coming from outside my window. There in the street, in place of our usual garbage truck, was a giant rusty mechanical whale gobbling up the dumpsters. I was relieved that the sounds it emanated were half the volume of the usual truck and driver..

The Knife Thrower & His Assistant

Munny! Sold

Cicada Sugarbowl

Private Collection

Cicada Teapot

Private Collection

Cicada Creamer

Private Collection

Butterfly Creamer

Sold

Lobster (Tea)Pot

Sold

Butterfly Creamer

Sold

Most Evil Of Butters

Available

Birds Of A Feather ~ 1

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Birds Of A Feather ~ 2

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Birds Of A Feather ~ 3

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Birds Of A Feather ~ 4

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Birds Of A Feather ~ 5

Sold

Augustus

Sold

Imp

I keep forgetting to finish my tea, but when I go to clean the cup, it's empty...

A Nighttime Friend

Aloicious and Abe

Private Collection

Inseperable

Available - Currently showing at Studio Hix in downtown San Francisco

Brothers

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Animation

Contact

For information about current or upcoming shows, purchasing, etc. emailMagnificentF@gmail.com

High quality custom prints can be purchased atImagekind

Thanks for your email

About

Just exactly who is

The Magnificent Miss F ?

Some say she is just a myth...
others believe that she was once a person just as you or I,
but is now made almost entirely of bits of antique taxidermy and clockwork.
Others argue that she is some sort of changeling trapped in the wrong dimension,
or perhaps a top secret experiment by our own government, gone terribly wrong.
It is likely we may never know for sure.

One thing that is certain, is that when the moon is full and the wind blows just so,
and the crickets in the reeds chirp just at the very same time
that someone on a third level flat drops and breaks an old typewriter quite by accident...

Those are the times that the packages appear.

They come wrapped in old crinkled ads for hand knitted wool stockings,
tied with bits of ribbon and string found lining birds nests,
and long silken hairs from the heads of children stolen by gypsies.
One was hollow and covered completely in ornate keyholes, yet could not be seen through,
and still another floated just a bit off the ground and emitted a strange light,
yet when immersed in water (don't dare ask why or how this occurred),
it sank immediately like a broken heart.

As the whereabouts or even existence of The Magnificent Miss F. are in question,
I for one believe she is someplace here among us,
perhaps perched in an old clock tower keeping a chart of how many times a week
we make silly faces whilst tripping over inanimate objects,
and cross referencing it with a chart of how many times a day cats make silly faces whilst we trip over them.
Or tiptoeing across the surface of a pond stealing fireflies to make into ink for writing glowing reviews of boring plays.
Some say they catch fleeting glimpses of her in night gardens telling secrets to frogs,
or down the ends of paths that don't go any place...

As the packages keep coming, I for one must be inclined to believe that she is still out there someplace,
breathing life into very small and strange things.
I will continue to document their existence on these pages,
in hopes that someday they may have some scientific purpose...

I have found a set of plans intending to build some great machine,
in which her creations are to be used as cogs.
From my studies I have concluded this machines purpose appears to be
to turn the planet on its axis just a fraction of a degree,
so that half of the worlds scraped knees turn into something more amiable.

Perhaps bunnies.

Your humble Virtuoso,

Oni the Cat

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